Perks and Pains
by keroRiBBIT
Summary: There are pros and cons in every situation. Most of the time, one just outweighs the other. Ch. 3: A lover with such long hair. Perks: It comes in handy when you desperately want to hold on to something. Pains: It tends to get messy in the morning. Credits to Nairil for the cover image
1. Chapter 1

Perks and Pains

Chapter 1: Sleeping in Your Boyfriend's Bed

 **Perk:** His bed is usually comfier than yours.

Tenten was tired. The frat party was still in full swing downstairs and frankly, she wasn't really one to party much anyways. But still, final exam results just came out and everyone who passed (and some of those who failed, namely one blonde loudmouth who had remedial among others) was willing to celebrate and drink the night away for finishing another term at university unscathed. And so, coffee turned into alcohol and everyone was having fun. Tenten did so too. At least, in the first two hours or so.  
Blindingly making her way up the stairs, Tenten just wanted to sleep now. She could just hear the call of the lovely bed seducing her. Making a bee-line towards a door that she knew to be her Hyuga boyfriend's, she went in and just sunk into the covers of his very comfy bed.

It did not occur to her that there was a poster in the door she entered whereas her boyfriend's door was bare. Also, she did not notice that the room was way messier than its usual tidy and meticulous self. No, it didn't occur to her, all she knows is she needed to catch up on one week's worth of sleep and she knew that her boyfriend's bed was much better than her ratty dorm one. And when the bed dipped indicating another person getting into the bed with her, Tenten simply cuddled up to them, her mind buzzed and demanded sleep. And sleep, she did.

 **Pains:** Mornings after can give you heart attacks, specifically when you realize you slept in the wrong bed.

Neji was shifting beside her, Tenten let out a groan. The sunlight coming from the window was giving her a head ache. Neji continued to shift beside her. Her back was to him and his arm embraced her waist from behind. Tenten let out a smile. Still with closed eyes, she turned her front to him and in a soft but audible whisper, "Good morning."

"Morning, babe." Replied a gruff voice.

That's when alarm bells went off in Tenten's mind. That was certainly not Neji. Her boyfriend, most definitely, did not call her something as stupid as _that_.

Her eyes opened the exact same time the unknown man did. Both of them let out a horrified shriek.

What was supposed to be long brown locks turned into blonde and the expected lilac eyes became blue ones.

"AHHHHHHHH," Naruto deftly rolled out of his own bed and onto the floor. And Tenten, despite being fully clothed in last night's shirt and jeans, began to claw at the sheets to cover herself up and crawling to the edge of the bed, started to clobber the offending half naked male (who was supposedly not her boyfriend!) with a plastic soda bottle conveniently left behind at the bedside table.

"Ow! Dattebayo!" Naruto exclaimed when Tenten managed to land a solid hit on his forehead. Ignoring his bouts of protests and forgetting entirely about the sheets she previously clutched to her chest,Tenten continued to hit him at every opportunity. With every hit, she said, "Why. Didn't. You. Wake. Me. Up!" She tugged a bit at his ear for good measure, this made the blonde give out a dignified yelp.

Naruto, who had had enough of the plastic onslaught, took hold both of her wrists, effectively stopping her.

This promptly led them to make eye contact.

They were each at the opposite ends of the room in the next second, letting out a shudder in disgust.

Both of them started to wake the whole house with their simultaneous, incoherent, horrid shouts.  
"Oh my God!"

"Bloody hell, I thought you were Neji!"

"What were you doing in my room?!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Oh my God!"

A pause. Tenten eerily made her way across the room and poked him in the chest..

"You touched me last night. Thought you were gonna get fucking lucky weren't ya?!"

"I didn't mean to!"

"What? Your slimy hands just accidentally found it's way to my ass?"

"I thought you were someone else! I swear I didn't mean to feel you up!"  
"Shh! You're gonna let the whole house know!"

Distancing himself at arms' length, Naruto suddenly had an epiphany.  
"Neji is gonna kill me!"

"You're over reacting."

"Noooooo! You," Tenten was suddenly looking at his index finger pointed in between her eyes, "don't get it! He's not gonna kill you," then pointing the finger to himself, "he's gonna kill me." And then he started to pace.

He kept muttering 'Neji's gonna kill me' like a mantra while pacing back and forth the room in his shirtless, boxer clad, glory.

He was then coming up with such lame excuses and escape plans that Tenten was left dumbfounded, following his pacing with her eyes and listening to said lame excuses. There was one plan that escaped his lips that Tenten thought was just really really full of crack but nonetheless would have wanted to see.

"Maybe I'd tell him, I'm gay," Naruto muttered, "Yeah yeah, maybe perform a small yaoi show with teme. I know the bastard has the hots for me, fucking faggot." Honestly, Tenten wanted to laugh right now but with the small adrenaline rush fading, she was starting to feel a headache forming. It doesn't help that the Uzumaki's continued mantra "Oh shit. Neji's gonna kill me," was getting louder and louder still.

"He's not going to, Naruto." Tenten assured the blonde but he continued to ignore her. He kept muttering the mantra to himself when suddenly, he grasped her shoulders with both hands, pulled her so close that their noses were scrunched together and he was looking at her with shaking wide eyes that it almost made Tenten laugh if it were not staring directly at hers.

"Tenten. Promise me, when he finally does the deed, don't let mom see my porn. She'll bring me back to life and kill me herself!"

Tenten only graced him with an incredulous face.

"You're over reacting Naruto!" Tenten proceeded to shake out of his grip.

"Promise me, woman!"

Tenten only continued to shake out his grip.

"No. I will not!" Her patience running thin, she simply shoved a hand to his face and pushed him away. Naruto could only let out a yelp and before he knew it, he was on the floor again and Tenten was looking down and towering over him.

"Here's what we're gonna do, I'm going to explain this to him, nice and gently," directing a glare at the blonde, "without the unneccessary things."

At Naruto's dumbfounded look, Tenten's glare multiplied the intensity tenfold.

Only then did realization dawned on the Uzumaki, "Right, no telling of the ass touching."

The female could only let out an exasperated sigh and walked towards the door. Hearing the blonde shuffling behind her, she decided to wait for him to get up before opening the door.

When a fully dressed Naruto finally made his way by her side, she opened the door...revealing a very disgruntled Hyuga.

Both paled instantly.

Awkward silence.

"This is not what it looks like!" It was Tenten that broke the silence but before she could explain further Neji raised a hand to stop her.

"You do realize that my room is just besides this one, right? And you were creating quite a ruckus."

"Neji, I-!" Neji once again interrupted her, "You need not to explain yourself, Tenten. I heard and I trust you. I know you wouldn't do anything of the sorts."

The duo by the door were still dumbstruck.

"Why don't you go into my bathroom and fix yourself a bit, I believe you still have spare clothes in my closet." Neji added.

That seemed to snap them out of their reverie.

"ThankssoomuchforunderstandingNeji. I love you!" After standing on her tippy toes and giving her boyfriend a chaste peck on the lips, she all but sprinted towards his room(it's really his this time!) with Neji trailing her sprinting form with his eyes. The door promptly shut with an audible click.

He then turned his all-seeing eyes to the blonde who visibly relaxed.

"Sooo."

Stare.

"We're okay right, Neji ole' pal?"

Neji's eyes narrowed.

Naruto let out a nervous chuckle, turned around with lightning speed, planning on pulling an Elsa and locking himself in his room for a good few hours. Or years.

But Neji was faster, grabbing him on the shoulder with one hand and swiftly turned him around again to face him.

"What are you hightailing for, Uzumaki? I said I heard what happened and I understand," the Hyuga said in his normal monotone voice.

This made Naruto visibly relax. He let out a relieved 'phew!' and said, "Thanks, I thought you'd kill me or something, 'ttebayo."

Scratching the back of his head, Naruto let out a laugh and thrusted out a hand for Neji to shake, "We're good, ne?"

Neji eyed the outstretched hand for a while before giving him a curt nod and gave a firm shake, "Fine."

"Cool." When the blonde made a move to retract his hand, Neji merely gripped it tighter, almost forcing his knees to buckle.

"However," Neji's once calm composure suddenly darkened completely, his eyes showing sadistic pleasure when the blonde squirmed, "I heard that there was, I quote, 'an ass touching,' that occured."

Naruto let out a nervous chuckle, "You're lucky, she's got a very nice ass?" that came out as a question. The blonde comically gulped and mentally quivered as the Hyuga tightened his grip even more at his sheer stupidity and lack of tact.

"Yeow!" This time his knees did buckle.

Trying a different tactic, "I'm gay. I can fucking prove it!" This made Neji raise his eyebrows. His grip also slackened slightly, but it was enough for Naruto to yank his hand and run towards the Uchiha's room downstairs, shouting, "Teme! Kiss me! You know you want to, you faggot!"

Neji heard a small, "What the f-" before it was cut off with a smooching sound followed by a loud 'SMACK' and a pained groan.

The Hyuga only let out a small snort of amusement and made his way to his room. He needed to mark his terrority.

The others knew not to question the suspicious sounds emitted from the Hyuga's room.

 **AN**

My pitiful attempts at humour is just so pitiful. Don't look at me!

Hiya! This idea just won't leave me behind at all! So yeah. I'll be updating 'The Compromise' maybe next week!


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N:**_ _At long last! Here you go. :)_

 **Naruto (c) Kishimoto**

Chapter 2: Picking up Girls

 **Perks:** Girls, need I say more?

"Hey guys," Kiba greeted the table filled with his friends, well most of them. Most of them greeted him back. Most of them. Grumbling about manners and politeness he grabbed a chair from an empty table and sat himself at the head of theirs.

"Oh come on Kiba, it's a Friday night and your wasting it by sulking," someone reprimanded him from his right. He narrowed his eyes at the brunette. Tenten merely raised her eyebrow. From beside her, another brunette sat, his arm around the girl's shoulder and a bottle of beer lay on his other hand.

"What's got your panties in a bunch?" Exclaimed another one at his left this time, blonde, loud and obnoxious, it was Naruto.

His narrowed eyes turned into a glare. "I'm going to ignore that," he placed an elbow on the table and cradled his head in a palm. "I need to get laid."

A collective groan came from the group.

"I'm serious guys! It's been two weeks!" He defended and thumped a fist against the table for good measure.

They were sitted at their usual six person booth in their favorite bar. The table was strategically placed where one can have easy access towards the bar to get drinks but not too close to become cramped when a lot of people order theirs; juke box music can be clearly heard in the back ground yet not overpowering. But this was not why they liked to seat here. Oh no, Kiba loved this booth for the sole reason that he has an unobscured view of the people who entered the double doors, meaning he could check out pretty ladies and see if he could lucky tonight.

"You wanna know how to solve this little problem of yours?" Tenten asked, irritation evident on her face.

"Why, use my dashing good looks?" He said, pure confidence dripping as ran a hand through his hair in what he thought to be as suave.

"Ew," Tenten deadpanned.

Kiba did not seem to hear as he continued on, tracing his thumb and index fingers along his jaw, "Or should I choose to use my uncanny charm?"

"Don't make us vomit, Inuzuka," Neji said the same time Tenten exclaimed an exasperated "No!"

"Get a girlfriend, idiot," Sasuke said from beside Naruto, the last person on the table.

Kiba merely snorted, "I could say the same for you."

"Don't compare me to the likes of you," the Uchiha retorted, taking a swig of his beer.

"Whatever."

"Woah, woah. Sexy chick approaching bar," Naruto said.

Everyone at the table craned their necks for a look. Making her entrance was a sundressed raven haired girl. They could not get a good view of her face but the creamy skin and hourglass figure was enough for them. Kiba gave a low whistle.

"Wow, I'd tap tha-"

"Don't even think about it, that's my cousin," said Neji. Turning around, he gave a nod of acknowledgement as his cousin shyly waved at them and sat at the tall stools provided at the bar's counter.

"Hinata, right?" Tenten inquired. "Why don't you ever invite her during our hangouts? I could use a girlfriend, rather than hanging around with you weirdos."

A chorus of "Hey!" came from the two loudmouths of the group.

Neji, on the otherhand, took her chin in his fingers, made her face him and said, "You love us anyways, me especially." With that said, he gave her a peck on the lips and felt her smile against him.

As if on queue, gagging sounds came from the two and the very original, "Get a room," from the Uchiha. Neji merely smirked.

"We're turning in for the night!" Tenten exclaimed, grabbed Neji by the hand and lead him out of the bar without much thought with regards to the others.

"Heh, see you," Neji said with a smirk as he let himself be dragged.

The three left behind sat dumbfounded, or as dumbfounded as the Uchiha could be.

Kiba took a gulp of Naruto's beer and promptly slammed it on the table, but nobody seemed to be bothered by it.

"That's it! I got dibs on the next hot chick that enters those doors!" Kiba proclaimed.

"Speaking of, here's one right now." It was Sasuke this time, to point out.

A pink-haired woman entered the bar and sat herself in one of the many empty stools near the counter, a ways off from Neji's cousin.

"Shit, where's Suigetsu when you need him?" Kiba said, wondering where his partner-in-crime might be.

"Hey I could be your wingman!" Naruto exclaimed. The brunette merely looked at him dubiously.

"Dude, you owe me a beer." He said, waving his empty beer bottle. Kiba only sighed in agreement but brightened up the next second.

"Pretty babe, here I come!"

 **Pains:** Sometimes, you just have this urge to hit your wing man on the head

Kiba approached the lady as a lion would stalk it's prey, one might say. He carefully leaned an elbow on one side of her at the counter table and effectively showed her his 'good side.' The pinkette, noticing his presence, turned to him, an eyebrow raised. She appeared to be interested in what he had in store as she looked expectantly at him.

The brunette gave her a smirk and said, "So, what's pretty lady like you doing here all a-" he was cut off when an arm wrapped itself around him, "Have you met Kiba?"

Naruto then started to not-so subtly hint at him. His eyes wide and his lips in an open-mouthed perverted grin. The pinkette looked at them as if cockroaches suddenly came crawling on their faces.

And as if the heavens were mocking him, the blonde produced suggestive, "Eh, eh," sounds as he gestured wildly towards him with his head. All signs of interest vanished into thin air as she looked creeped out beyond words.

Taking one glance at his supposed wing man, Kiba dejectedly said, "I'm so sorry to have wasted your time." And without looking at anyone else, Kiba returned to their booth where Sasuke uncharacteristically sniggered at his misery.

"Hey, what the hell was that, dattebayo!"

The brunette turned around, a murderous look on his face and bonked him in the head, "You're the worst wingman ever!" He yelled for good measure and took a seat beside the Uchiha

"Ugh, you owe me a beer man!" said Naruto as he rubbed the growing bump on his head.

"You little-" unable to clearly show his annoyance, he banged his forehead on the table.

"Idiots," Sasuke mumbled under his breath as he eyed the pinkette and smirked to himself.

"What's with the creepy face, teme?" Naruto said, all signs of pain from before all gone in a blink of an eye.

"Hn."

 _ **A/N:**_ _Wishful thinking that this was up to par with the last one. There has been many attempts, however, to update this as soon as possible. I actually two others in storage right now, meant to be posted a looong time ago. But I felt they were no good, hopefully this comes a bit closer to the first one. It was inspired by one episode in HIMYM. Aaaaand, I think this will be the last time I write Naruto getting hit in the head. Tell me when I get redundant._

 _If you noticed it, I like my NejiTen subtle and not fully in the limelight. It's what drew me in the ship in the first place. :3_

 _Is it good? Bad? Tell me in a review! See you at June, until then, check out my other stories. Bye. :)_


	3. Chapter 3

_A/ N: This is more fluff and lime than anything else. Hahaha. Thank you for reviewing the previous chapter. :)_

 **Disclaimer: Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto**

 **Warning: Contains mild adult scenes and language. Read at your own discretion.**

Chapter 3: A lover who has such long hair.

 **Perks:** In times of passion, it's very handy when you desperately need something to hold on to.

Tenten's mind was a hazy, cloudy place as his lips brushed tantalizingly against hers. He slowly traced her bottom lip, licking it before suckling, asking for entrance. She parted her lips the slightest bit when Neji's tongue came in and explored her mouth, tracing every cavern, every crevice he could reach, before brushing against her elusive tongue and engaged her in a battle of dominance.

She moaned as his hands travelled up and down the sides of her body, finally resting on her stomach where he lazily traced random patterns along her navel, making her quiver in anticipation. For a moment that hand stilled, and then it moved up. He went higher and higher as he kept touching her in places he shouldn't but _Oh God it just feels so good._

With one hand resting on her hip to keep her in place and one firmly playing with the mounds of flesh on her bare chest, his lips left hers as he trailed kisses down to her chin, across her jaw to her ear where he gave it a tentative lick that made her shiver in delight. Then he started to descend, alternating between licking and kissing down the column of her throat.

She gave a gasp of surprise when she felt his teeth sink on the skin at the crook of her neck. Shortly after she gave a most wanton moan when he traced the raw area with his tongue. One of her hands found the nape of his neck and the other tangled in his hair as she kept him in place, she could feel him smirk at her shoulder.

The hand that was playing with her brown pebbles snaked their way up to the back of her head. With a hand fisted tightly on her brown tresses, Neji kissed her with such bruising force that promised something even more pleasurable.

It turned out to be a great evening.

 **Pains:** When both of you have long hair, it tends to get messy in the morning.

Tenten shifted on the bed feeling slightly uncomfortable with the sunlight bathing her bare back.

She felt an arm drape itself on her waist and a different heat settle on her bare back. Tenten tried to suppress the shiver of delight that fought to race down her spine when his fingers traced lazy circles on her lower abdomen as his morning voice whispered in her ear, "Slept well, Mrs Hyuga?"

Tenten hummed in response before turning around to face him and gave him a light kiss. "Yes, I did. Good morning to you too," she said, her voice hoarse from their nightly activities. She felt him smile against her lips which made her smile too.

She thought the both of them must have looked stupid right then - lying there on their birthday suits, just smiling like idiots against each other's lips. But it's not like anyone could see them, she reasoned. Tenten was alright looking stupid like that, in his arms, surrounded by their scent. She was in bliss.

The moment was broken though, when Neji sighed. Tenten opened her eyes to peer up at him, asking -whining- why?

Neji's eyes softened and offered her a gentle smile.

She felt the hand that was on her waist trace up her spine before resting at the nape of her neck, gently massaging the area before pressing her against him as he gave her a passionate kiss.

As they broke away for air, Neji sat up. "Come on, let's go get breakfast," he said looking at her again with those eyes that made her feel like she was the most blessed woman on earth to have married Neji Hyuga.

She sat up, albeit somewhat reluctantly, and groggily stretched her arms. She was snapped to wakefulness however, when she felt a sharp tug on her scalp.

"What the hell?"

She looked at Neji, confused.

He was looking at her with his eyebrows raised, expectant.

"What?" She asked, lightly massaging her scalp.

"Did you want something?" He asked, the morning voice diverting back to its usual monotone that Tenten had encountered for many years. She felt somewhat disappointed.

Her eyebrows shot up across her forehead in surprise. "What?" She asked again, her confusion going up a notch.

"You tugged on my hair, I thought you were trying to get my attention."

If it were possible for her eyebrows to go even higher, it would have because Tenten was even more at a loss. It did not actually help that her husband was standing upright in front of her, brandishing all his goods (and they were good).

There was a pause in which Tenten's eyes was trained on her husband's everything but his face.

When she finally did find face, she saw his eyes snap up to meet hers as well. She felt her mouth twitch as she tried point out, "I didn't. You were the one that pulled on my hair."

"I think we may have a problem," he said. Tenten saw his eyes stray towards her right and she followed his line of sight, her mouth gave a small gap.

Apparently, it was not only the red string of fate that connected them. How she missed a long lock of brown hair in between them, she didn't know.

She began tugging to free her hair from the knot that it had formed with Neji's. Said male was silently observing her.

Tugging didn't seem to work. Without warning, she yanked on her hair, willing it to break free. She kept yanking and yanking and did not notice her husband gritting his teeth from what must be the sting on his scalp.

"Well, that's no good." Tenten paused, thinking.

After a while, she looked up to Neji with an idea in mind. "How about we walk on different directions at the same time?" She waited as he weighed the idea.

After a while, he shrugged and said, "It's worth a shot."

Tenten grinned at him and stood up. Together, they walked on opposite directions, Neji towards the door and her to the windows.

Not more than three steps, Tenten already felt the sharp tug on her scalp. Despite the promises of pain, Tenten continued to walk forward. Or tried to.

Already, the hair between them was stretched thin yet it would not come loose. Neji gritted his teeth, saying "This won't work," before abruptly stopping.

Due to the sudden loss of struggle, Tenten's momentum caused her to trip on her two feet and stumble carelessly on the ground with a noisy THUMP, dragging Neji with her, lock of hair still attached.

Next thing she knew she was on the floor, Neji on top of her in all his naked glory and they laid there for quite a while.

...

"Are you gonna get off anytime now?" asked Tenten, amused.

"I might, in this position," Neji admitted, smirk in place. Tenten's face flushed, what he meant dawning on her.

And then they were kissing.

Fifteen minutes later...

Neji rolled to the side and laid down, panting. They were on the floor, shoulder to shoulder.

"Wow," Tenten managed to gasp out, wide eyed and breathless.

Neji chuckled beside her and shifted to his side so he could lean and give her a chaste kiss on the nose. She scrunched it up in response as he sat up.

"Well, the problem seems to have gotten worse," she heard him mutter. Tenten sat up as well only to see, on Neji's hands, what looked to be a even bigger knot of their hair.

She gave a sharp breath in annoyance. "What now?"

Without replying, Tenten saw him form familiar hand seals and soon enough, the expected mutter of "Byakugan," was heard.

Tenten tried to follow the movements of his fingers as they tried to untangle the locks of hair with lightning speed.

'His fingers are... _fast_.' Her eyes widened and heat crept up her face as her thoughts went to the gutter.

She pretended that she was paying attention when Neji suddenly cleared his throat, his eyebrows twitching.

"What's wrong?"

"I-" Neji started, a light pink staining his cheeks.

Tenten looked at him, eyebrows raised.

"Err," he mumbled something under his breath.

"What?" Tenten asked with a whip-like ring to it, impatient.

"I might have made it worse," he uttered aloud, not looking at her and his face carefully blank.

It took a while for the thought to register inside her head. _"What?"_ Tenten roared, snatching the enlarged knot from Neji's now dubbed useless fingers.

"Aww hell."

The once lint-sized knot had now turned into a marble-sized one. And it seemed that more strands had joined in the tangle that lay six centimeters from the ends of their hair. After thoroughly examining the knot from every possible angle, "What if you pour chakra into the strands of your hair, straighten out yours and freeing mine? You can expel chakra into every tenketsu point, right?"

Neji pondered the thought. "I'm not sure if I can expel them straight through the strands. Hair is not exactly the same as chakra strings you know?"

"Oh."

Honestly, Tenten was running out of ideas.

"What if go again on opposite directions but instead of walking, we run."

Neji looked at her as if her eyebrows suddenly became thicker.

"Oh fine! Do you have a better idea?" She snapped at him, frustration already setting her on edge.

"Let's try combing through it."

oOo

"Well that was dumb," said Tenten wryly, not even five minutes later. On the bed was Neji's useless comb snapped in half.

With a lack of anything better to do, Tenten tossed two halves of the comb out the window.

"That was unnecessary," Neji said, peering down the window for his combs.

She merely rolled her eyes at him before roughly jerking her head, appreciating Neji's hiss of pain when he bonked his head on the window frame.

They were back to sitting on the bed a few moments later.

"We could always just-"

"No," Neji didn't even let her finish her sentence.

"But-"

"No."

"Oh come on!" Tenten exclaimed, "It's the fastest way of solvi-!"

"We are not going to cut my hair," Neji's voice rang with finality. Tenten took a sharp intake of breath.

oOo

"How 'bout we just burn the knot?"

"That's worse than cutting it, Ten."

"Oh fuck you." Neji snorted in response.

oOo

"Ask Yamanaka for help?"

"Fuck no. Why the hell would you even suggest that?"

Neji shrugged his shoulders in response, "Worth a try."

"No."

A pause.

 _Ring! Ring! Ring!_

"Hello Ino?"

 _"Tenten? What's up? Thought you'd be busy with your new hubby? It's your honeymoon after all."_ Tenten could feel the blonde's perverted smile from across the country.

"Yeah?" She said, conversational before going into business mode. "Listen, how do you untangle a knot on your hair?"

 _"What?"_

A vein was now throbbing on Tenten's forehead, a clear sign of her patience running thin. "How do you untangle a knot on your hair?" She said through gritted teeth.

 _"Aww Tenny darling, that's so funny. My hair doesn't get knots,"_ she could hear Ino giggle, _"Listen dear, I'm about to talk a very handsome customer now into buying a wonderful bouquet of roses. Not everyone is bound to another like you are."_ She has no idea. _"Have fun, ciao!"_ Click.

Tenten almost threw the cellphone against wall in frustration. She opted to throw it straight to her 'New hubby's' forehead instead.

"You're becoming unreasonably violent," Neji said as he caught the phone in his hand.

"No," she grabbed a pillow and threw it across the room, "I'm fucking not!"

"You have such a potty mouth too," he added, following the pillow with his eyes.

"Bullshit."

"You know you're just proving everything I say, right?"

Tenten felt herself shake in anger and frustration. She felt her eye twitch, the telltale sign that she was about to erupt like a volcano.

Seeing red, she opened her mouth, only to have Neji engage her in a tongue battle.

"You look beautiful when you're angry," he whispered in her ear.

Tenten pulled away and stared at him, all traces of anger kissed away and what remained was a blank face.

"I hate you so much."

A peck on the lips.

"I love you too."

Tenten sighed and not for the first time that morning, they were lying on the bed, in their birthday suits and staring at each other. Only, this time Neji was smirking at her and she was trying so hard not to punch him in the gut.

An idea suddenly flicked on inside Tenten's mind. Careful not to smile too widely, Tenten leaned in for another passionate kiss. When it seemed that Neji was caught up in the heat of the moment, a hand started to move underneath one of the pillows that she hadn't managed to throw.

She felt it, cold metal against her skin. She gripped the familiar object in her hand and carefully dragged it out of its hiding spot, inching it towards the large knot just above their heads.

Muscles tensed, she swiped at it. Almost succeeded too, if not for the hand that snatched her wrist in a white knuckled grip, pinning it above her head. Next thing she knew, instead of lying on her side, she was now on her back, Neji towering over her, the haughtiest of his smirks in place.

"Nice try," he gloated, easing the kunai off her hand with his other.

Tenten struggled from her position, his legs was pinning her other arm, along with her legs, close to her sides. Neji seemed unbothered though. Instead he examined the kunai in his hand, looking at it almost in wonder, before his eyes snapped towards hers, an almost manical glint to it. She gulped.

Slowly, he brushed the blunt side of the kunai deliciously down her naked chest. She shivered at the unfamiliar feeling of cold metal against parts of her body that were not her two hands. Still, she tried to keep the fight burning inside her. Neji looked at her in amazement.

"This is kinda hot though," he whispered in her ear. "Dominating you like this and seeing you struggle when I know you're getting so turned on right now." He softly bit her lobe. She moaned when he licked the offended flesh.

And just like that they were lost once again in the throes of passion.

After what seemed like hours...

Tenten groaned. "It's still tangled? Seriously?!"

"You just had mind blowing sex and the first thing you noticed was a knot of hair?"

"Oh shut up," said Tenten, suddenly exhausted as she lied down on her back. Her eyes were only half open when a glint of light was trying to catch her eye.

She craned her neck to the left, where a dresser lay with one of its doors slightly ajar. She remembered that they had tossed their luggage inside said dresser in their haste to do certain activities.

"Neji get up," she nudged him, seeing as she can't walk without him trailing behind, literally.

"Hm?"

"There's something in the dresser, I wanna check it out." She explained, gesturing towards the telltale glint of a light reflecting on a flat surface.

They walked towards the dresser in companiable silence and crouched down as Tenten opened the dresser and grabbed their bags.

The flat surface was actually a bottle and the light was bouncing off of the crystal-like cork perched on top.

"What in the world is that?" Neji asked, aghast.

The logo read 'Silk.' It was a bottle of conditioner, nothing special really. What made Neji so appalled was the model that was displayed across the container. They sported shiny bob-cuts reminiscent of their teammates own bowl-cuts.

"It's one of Lee's gifts," Tenten recalled. "I must've packed it by accident."

Together they read the tag line, "Keeps your hair silky smooth and tangle free! Absolutely Youthful!"

The two of them looked at each other, a mental conversation going on between them.

The strange connection was broken when Tenten looked catiously at the bottle again, uncorked it and gave it a whiff. She needn't to, because the smell of strong chemicals wafted out of the bottle like smoke. The newly-weds coughed at the foul smell.

When they both have calmed down, Neji was the first to ask, "What now?"

After hastily placing the cork back, she answered, "Should we try it?"

Neji grabbed the bottle and read the back part, reading the ingredients, expecting something like "Sweat of burning passion and hard work!" listed amongst it.

Still reading, he asked, "What are the likely chances that we both would end up with bowl-cuts the moment we step out of the shower?"

Tenten rolled her eyes at his paranoia, "Oh come on, it's just conditioner, how bad could it be?"

oOo

She started having second thoughts though, when it was time to actually use it.

She kept staring at the models. Shiny, _shiny_ bob-cuts. Sparkly _(twitch)_ white teeth in a perky _(twitch)_ wide smile. Oh my god, is that spandex they're wearing? No, no. They're wearing rash guards.

...Which are spandex! Holy mother of god.

"Are we really using a hair product that Lee and Gai-sensei use?" Neji asked, doubt and caution coating his words.

Tenten proceeded to surprise not only Neji, but herself as well when she nodded her head with resolve. "Yes, it's either this or cutting it all off."

Frowning, Neji squeezed an ample amount of the foul smelling chemical into his and Tenten's palm

He massaged it onto his head before working his way down his long hair and unto the knot.

oOo

"I can't believe it actually worked," exclaimed Tenten, pleasantly surprised as they finally began to dress themselves up.

"Hn."

"Oh come on, it worked! And you're hair looks great!" Indeed it was, his hair is now the slightest bit straighter than usual and when Tenten ran her fingers through it, it was smoother than usual too. The most obvious improvement however, was how absolutely shiny it became.

"Too shiny," he refused to acknowledge the bottle created out of what looked to be Gai and Lee's youthful energy.

He can appreciate the look it gave his wife though. Now, Neji loved his wife's hair. When not in her buns, they were usually wavy, and slightest bit messy, which made her all the more sexier. At present though, her hair was pin straight and it looked even longer. It framed her face just as well, she looked classy and sexy that he didn't know which look he liked her in.

"Don't be so uptight, Neji. It's not like those two would know that we actually used it."

Back in Konoha...

Lee slammed open the door to his sensei's home.

"Gai-sensei!" He exclaimed, his eyes burning. "Did you feel it too?!" He yelled in excitement, combing through his hair with a hand.

Gai gravely nodded, tears flowing down his cheeks. "Hai! Our feiry teammates have used the concoction for youthful hair!"

Lee nodded, overwhelmed with joy as well as river of tears made their way down his own cheeks.

"I'll go prepare all the spare spandex!"

 _A/N: I think this could have gone better. The intimate scenes were horrible, in my opinion. I'm probably not gonna write any type of lime or lemon any time soon. Lol. Nonetheless, should I bump up the rating?_

 ** _EDIT:_** _I just re-read everything and I CAN'T BELIEVE I WROTE BROWN PEBBLES. LOL._

 _Reviews are welcome!_


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